Do your decisions and actions come from a place of fear, ego or love?
Do ideas need to “soak” or “percolate” before they are ready?
Today is World Day of Bullying Prevention. I didn’t know that when I wrote this post for today. Weird.
I have a confession to make. I was bullied as a kid. I never told anyone as an adult because I was afraid if they knew they would see me as weak, they would think they could bully me too. I have a tough job where having a thick skin comes in handy. What if my clients knew I was bullied? I shudder to think what that might be like.
The reason this is important is that it has an effect on how I’ve built my suit of armor since my days of being bullied. I’m like a female Iron Man, summoning my armor at will.
The Armor. I do not care what people think. Of course, I do care what people think, which is why I built the armor in the first place. But I won’t let ‘what people think’ stop me from doing something. This has worked out well for the most part, giving me the courage to do things that others won’t. What I missed what that the armor also blocks you from the good stuff.
The Better-Than Box. I’ve taken great pains to make you think that I’m cool and always have been. I occasionally call myself a “nerd” just so I’m covered in case you notice. Have I made you feel like I’m better than you? Mission accomplished. If I’m better than you, nothing you can say will hurt me.
I was hugely motivated to prove that I’m worthy, to prevail over the bullies. And years later, I am in fact more successful than the bullies. But really, who cares? I feel sad when I see what has become of these people. The payoff just isn’t there for me.
Bully someone else. I’ve asked myself if I’ve bullied others as a result. Maybe I have. At the very least, I have judged people harshly as a result. I’ve heard that this is a common phenomenon. Why? I don’t want people to feel how I felt. It’s more of a protective measure. I am not seeing you as a victim, I’m seeing you as a potential bully.
The Fear. The fear that I carry with me, is that no matter how good, smart or successful I am, someone can always say “you’re ugly/nerdy/fat” and nothing else will matter. You may know of politicians who prey on these fears. It’s powerful.
Bullies at work. Bullies at work don’t come in the same package as bullies in the schoolyard. They’ve evolved, but they’re still there. Using shame as in influence tool is bullying. Yelling and interrupting to get people to back down is bullying. I vow to call it out and shut it down. I vow to call on my Iron Man armor and use it to end bullying at all ages.
People have encouraged me to be angry when I’m not. Do we really need more things to be angry about?
Sometimes getting teams to try something new can make you feel like Sam I Am. Are you spending more time addressing objections than on the activity itself?
We think we are evolving, advancing, progressing. But are we evolving or are we actually devolving?
Some questions move a group forward and other questions drive the group further into useless discussion. Today we take a look at which questions are useful and which ones are not.
You might wish politics would stop so you could do your work. Actually, politics is 90% of your work. Today we’ll look at some strategies to navigate the political waters in your organization.
Vibrancy. What a great word. “Vibrant Meetings” is this an oxymoron? Can a meeting be Vibrant?
Are you waiting to get a promotion so you can make a difference? There’s always a reason to play it safe and the more you practice playing safe the better you get at it. Think outside your job description, and start making a difference now!